Creating space to hold space
HOW do we expand our nervous system?
People often think desiring ‘expansion’ requires focusing on expansion. Many teachers teach expansion from the perspective of visualising expansion, but until we have enough space in our nervous system, we can’t expand.
Expansion is exactly what the nervous system will do when given enough space. We don't need to force expansion, to visualise expansion, or demand expansion. Taking that approach does violence to our body and to our energy.
Instead, we want to facilitate an experience of spaciousness, because it’s through tracking space inside our body that our nervous system can connect to safety, relax, let down, and then it will do what it is naturally designed to do - expand.
Nervous system work is about tracking and noticing
Expansion happens more easily in a relational context or group situation. Our nervous system naturally attunes to other nervous systems. One way to feel and sense into another person’s nervous system is by tuning more deeply into our own.
Whilst expansion may not be instantly achievable, anything is possible when we slow down enough, tune in, and feel ourselves. We can do that by ‘noticing’; therefore the most important elements of training the nervous system is ‘tracking’ and ‘noticing’. There are a lot of other elements to this work, but if we slow down and just notice what's going on, we've learned to do half of what’s required.
My invitation to you is to take a moment and notice your breath.
If you can't focus on your breath, probably the easiest thing you can do is to notice what is supporting you in this moment.
How are you sitting? What are you sitting on, and can you sense the feedback from what you are sitting on? Notice how it says hello to your body… and then maybe you can notice that your body is saying hello to it too.
Whether you're on the floor, on a mattress, on a chair, on the couch, on the ground, on water - with all of those things, there is a bi-directional exchange happening between your body and the thing that is supporting you. Slow down for a moment and pay attention to one of those directions of exchange - sometimes it's easier to notice the body making connection outwards first. But maybe it's easier for you to notice the object, the element connecting to your body.
If we slow down, and feel ourselves in a relationship of exchange with our seat, then feel ourselves in a relationship of exchange with our feet, we might then be able to notice our breath.
In doing this we are creating the opportunity to create space in our nervous system.
Why we need space in our nervous system
At the heart of being a healer and a soul-focused entrepreneur, we need enough space inside us to be able to hold space for our clients. Space-holding is at the epicentre of what we do: we hold space for our clients and for their transformation.
We can't hold space unless we are connected to an experience of space, consciously or unconsciously, in our own bodies. Our capacity to hold space is limited if we don't have space in our own bodies. The more space we create inside ourselves and inside our nervous system the bigger space we can hold for our clients. That means our clients have more opportunity to transform and to change.
‘Space’ is the essential ingredient.
‘Space’ creates safety, and through the embodied experience of safety, qualities such as, permission, acceptance, appreciation, and gratitude are fostered.
‘When we connect into the space inside us, we realise there are many possibilities for healing and expansion.
Making more space.
To create space in our nervous system, we need to address the trauma in our system. It’s common for clients to come to their first session saying they ‘know’ there is trauma in their body, even though they don’t know what it is.
They know something is holding them back from holding the space they want to hold - to be able to hold more clients and to able to hold space for their clients’ transformation, and to hold possibility for expansion for themselves.
They need spaciousness to do that, and if there are traumas in the body, they take up room in the nervous system. Often those traumas are intergenerational, so they can be passed through epigenetics, but there are multiple factors associated with intergenerational trauma.
We work directly with the energy of the ancestors to heal intergenerational trauma. We can also work with the nervous system of the ancestors and ‘tap’ into them on a ‘meta’ level. It’s a helpful and useful way to release trauma that's caught up in the nervous system by attuning to the whole family system’s nervous system.
When you think you have space…
The video below begins at 9mins 41secs where I use an example of a partially filled glass to demonstrate how easily our nervous system capacity can be exhausted.
…but really, you don’t!
When you are tense, tight, and contracted in the nervous system, no matter how much you visualise, no matter how much you use your ‘will’, no matter how much you meditate, no matter how much you do, or pray that you will expand, you cannot.
You have to create the space first before expansion. Working with the nervous system is the way to achieve expansion - you've seen those pictures of the iceberg as a metaphor for the conscious and subconscious minds. The conscious mind will only ever scratch the surface unless we come down into the nervous system and focus on slowly and safely creating space so that we can expand.
Embody, connect, and accept all that you are. So you can become a magnet for your soul clients - a powerful healing presence, an infinite, awakened and creative being.
Read more about your being a specialist in the nervous system here.
The next round of Expansion Training for Healers starts on May 9th, 2023. Book a co-regulation call to find out if it is right for you.